PHXated doesn’t understand how certain newspaper editors, as their industry crumbles down on their shoulders, just … give up.

Consider what I assume would be the half-dozen or so editors who have ultimate responsibility over page two of the paper’s “Valley & State” section. There’s Elvia Diaz, who is the assistant editor credited with oversight of the Phoenix news briefs section. I assume there is an editor to oversee that entire page of news briefs; and that that editor is topped by at least one deputy local editor, and then the top local news guy or gal.

That prestigious position probably still must report to some sort of assistant managing editor with oversight over local news; over that person is the managing editor, who in turn is answerable to the paper’s exec editor or editor in chief.

Anyway, here’s a sampling of what that group offered up to us the other day. I can’t link to it because, as usual, AZCentral.com doesn’t always know what the Republic publishes:

Community to host garage sale

PHOENIX— Residents of Kierland in northeast Phoenix are holding a communitywide garage sale from 7 a.m. to noon today.

This hot news story goes on for three more grafs, including this dulcet explanation of what a garage sale is, in case any mentally disabled people happen to be reading:

Neighbors will fill their driveways wth bargain-priced purchases ranging from furniture to clothes to chuldren’s items.

Everyone involved should take a moment to pat themselves on the back, for taking the time to research, write up, edit and print a little bit of news that under no circumstances could possibly give anyone a reason to subscribe to the paper.

PHXated’s previous breathless coverage of the paper’s intrepid news briefs editorial corps can be found here and here.