The Republic’s Valley & State section should be the heart of the paper. No one cares what the Republic writes about what’s going on in, say, Iran, but hey—local news is where the paper can shine, right?

So turn to page two of the local section, which, with all its little columns and squibs, should be where the paper’s crew of reporters get out there and dig us up some information.

Instead, here’s the hedlines and first grafs of the three capsule-news items today in the column for Phoenix—which is, you’ll remember, the fifth largest city in the U.S.:

Thrift shop’s fall season begins
PHOENIX—The fall season begins today at the Assistance League of Phoenix’s thrift shop. Bargain hunters will find used clothing, furniture, books and other items.

Phoenix College Cafe reopens
PHOENIX—The Phoenix College Culinary Cafe officially reopens today for the fall semester. Lunch is served every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m.. Diners can select from a three-course prix fixe menu for $9.75 or a list of a la carte specials.

Beatitudes sets monthly series
PHOENIX—Residents can learn about organic gardening, specialty cooking, arts and culture at a free monthly series at Beatitudes campus, a continuing-care retirement community in north central Phoenix.

I can’t link to the items because they don’t seem to be in the Republic’s online edition.

Note that those are just the beginnings of these in-depth dispatches, which show us that the Republic will not be beat when it comes to breaking news from the realm of thrift-shop sale seasons, college cafeteria menus, and continuing-care retirement-community lecture series.